


bayern won 8-2 against barcelona and won the bundesliga

by TWS



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Chatlogs, Group chat, Self-Indulgent, Shameless, what the fuck even happened yesterday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:35:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25914472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TWS/pseuds/TWS
Summary: Sami: You guys know bayern players are never going to let us hear the end of thisSami: Thomas is going to change the gc name to something wonderfully subtle like "bayern won 8-2 against barcelona and won the bundesliga"Thomas Müller changed the group chat name to: bayern won 8-2 against barcelona and won the bundesliga.Benni: Good one Sami.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 31





	bayern won 8-2 against barcelona and won the bundesliga

**Author's Note:**

> this is just stupid and just for fun and quickly written garbage dont read this ximena or sura or barca fans or anyone
> 
> i promise apos ch85 is coming but after last night... what the fuck else did u expect me to do, i can't really include this shit in apos because there's not even been a ucl lmao
> 
> this is mostly set in real life so it's not really apos lmao but it has apos cast. but imagine benni has hair
> 
> ALSO QUICK NOTE- THIS FIC MIGHT ACTUALLY JINX THINGS SO JUST KNOW THIS IS SELF INDULGENT BS AND IM STILL SCARED FOR THE REST OF THE GAMES OKAY I AM NOT TRYING TO BE ARROGANT I AM GENUINELY SCARED VS CITY IF WE PLAY SUCH A HIGH LINE, BUT HOPEFULLY PAVARD WIL BE BACK AND HANSI WILL ADJUST THINGS. HONESTLY PLS ITS NOT OVER YET. THIS IS JUST FOR FUN

_bayern won the bundesliga_

**Toni:** Okay, so.

 **Marco:** oh here we go the madridista speaks

 **Marco:** go on kroos live it up i dont blame you

 **Toni:** Look I know what you're expecting from me but. 

**Toni:** I genuinely do not know what to say.

 **Toni:** My mouth is hanging open.

 **Julian D:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA WHAT THE FUCK !!!!! WHAT THE ACUAL FUCK

 **Julian D:** WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK HAHAHAIHGRIERUHOEIUGHOIUERGH I CAN'T BREATHE WE MIGHT HAVE TO FACE BAERN BUT RN IM LOSING IT 

**Mesut:** i have 5 words and they're: WHAT IN THE FRESH HELL

 **Mesut:** when i saw messi hit thE post i was like ok asscheeks clenched it's time for a tight game

 **Mesut:** and then barca opened THEIR asscheeks and let bayern right inside?

 **Sami:** Charming

 **Sami:** God this makes me feel fine about our L

 **Sami:** You guys know bayern players are never going to let us hear the end of this

 **Sami:** Thomas is going to change the gc name to something wonderfully subtle like "bayern won 8-2 against barcelona and won the bundesliga"

_Thomas Müller changed the group chat name to: bayern won 8-2 against barcelona and won the bundesliga._

**Benni:** Good one Sami.

 **Sami:** He was gonna do that shit whether I said it or not

 **Marco:** for once in my life I'll let bayern have this one

 **Marco:** i 8 2 to say it but... credit where credit is due

 **Marco:** usually they deserve none 

**Benni:** Imagine thinking your insight matters

 **Thomas:** MARCO MEIN FREUND, YOURE NOT LETTING US HAVE SHIT

 **Thomas:** WE TAKE WHAT WE WANT WHENEVER WE WANT

 **Thomas:** LIKE WE TOOK THE BALL RIGHT FROM THEIR SORRY FEET AND SLOTTED IT RIGHT INTO THE NET

 **Fips:** And he was being so humble in the post-match interview. 

**Manu:** OH YEAH LIKE THOSE BARCA SHITHEADS WERE BEING HUMBLE BEFOREHAND

 **Manu:** THIS SHIT IS DESERVED

 **Marco:** like rumenigge wasn't talking shit

 **Manu:** BUT WAS HE WRONG?

 **Marco:**... no

_Marc-Andre ter Stegen left bayern won 8-2 against barcelona and won the bundesliga._

_Thomas Müller added Marc- Andre ter Stegen to bayern won 8-2 against barcelona and won the bundesliga._

**Thomas:** SORRY TER STEGEN NO SPECIAL FAVOURS YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE

 **Marc-Andre:** I am going to turn my phone off. 

**Bernd:** it's probably for the best... try and get some sleep

 **Manu:** SORRY MARC-ANDRE BUT YOU KNOW,,

 **Manu:** LIKE WHAT CAN YOU DO

 **Marc-Andre:** It is okay. Have fun.

 **Mario Got:** i can actually physically feel the pain radiating through the phone ouch

 **Mario Got:** don't be too hard on yourself marc-andre

 **Bernd:** ok i think he turned his phone off so now i can say

 **Bernd:** LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 

**Marc-Andre:** I haven't turned it off yet.

 **Bernd:** oh....

 **Bernd:** sorry.

 **Marc-Andre:** It is okay. Have fun.

 **Bernd:** i might have just made a fatal error in my relationship

 **Kai:** i'm sure he has other things to focus on!!!

 **Kai:** like wow!!! what even happened today!!!!!! i was on call with jule and we were both screeching like velociraptors the hwole way through!

 **Kai:** barcelona man! what the actual fuck!

 **Julian B:** genuinely lost my mind at several points 

**Julian:** absolut wahnsinnig

 **Jerome:** AUF GEHT'S JUNGEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

 **Jerome:** IM DRUNK RN I CJSJSUWNEHWUEHWWH

 **Jerome:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAIAHEFIUHFIOUUHIU

 **Jerome:** THE SLIP GIFS POSTED ALL OVER MY TWITTER TIMELINE.... FINALLY THEY WILL BE ERASED

**Jerome:**

**Jerome:** NO!!!!!!!! BYE!!!!!!

 **Toni:** How about this for a new meme

**Toni:**

**Jerome:** PERFECTION

 **Leon:** HOW HE LOOKED AFTER ME AND THIAGO FUCKING _BODIED_ HIM

 **Mesut:** yo how the hell do you think he was feeling

**Toni:**

**Toni:** My gallery is full to the brim of these screenshots right now

 **Mesut:** HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

 **Jonas:** Poor Messi!

 **Jerome:** OH SHUT UP WITH YOUR POOR MESSI

 **Jerome:** YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I CRIED OVER THE SLIP AND HOW MANY TIMES I'VE SEEN IT REPLAY OVER THE YEARS

 **Jerome:** HE CAN FUCKING TAKE THIS ONE THEY WON'T EVEN BE BLAMING HIM THEY'LL JUST FEEL SORRY FOR HIM

 **Jonas:** Sorry!!! That's fair too!!!

 **Sami:** You don't even feel a little bit bad? I mean you've ruined his day a lot, 2013, 2014, now...

 **Leon:** no

 **Leon:** why should we feel bad we went out there and did our thing and they didn't so

 **Leon:** yeah

 **Leon:** anyway just a quick calm message from me

 **Leon:** LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSS GEHHHHHHHHT'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Leon:** LOS GEHT'S LOS GEHT'S LOS GEHT'S

 **Kai:** 😒

**Kai:**

**Kai:** why do u not look real in this photo goretzka

 **Kai:** android looking headass

 **Leon:** SHUT UP HAVERTZ YOU SALTY BITCH GO SIGN YOUR CONTRACT AT CHELSEA AND ROT THERE 

**Julian B:** LMFAOOOOOO

 **Kai:** WHY YOU DOING ME LIKE THAT JULIAN

 **Julian B:** BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING TO CHELSEA LMAOOOO

 **Serge:** YOOOOOAOHOAGHAO

 **Serge:** HIHA 

**Serge:** im NONOAT EVEBN ABLE, NTO S=SPEAK A OCHENRENT WOD RIGUHNT NOW

 **Serge:** IM AALSO ORUNsK

 **Serge:** jUST **COKIN UP SOMsE GOALoS**

 **Marco:** i didn't think he could get worse at typing but somehow im proven wrong

 **Marco:** are those even words

 **Leon:** YOU DON'T NEED TO HAVE BASIC LITERACY ABILITY TO SCORE MARCO LEAVE HIM ALONE

 **Jonas:** Honestly I don't blame him for his typing he's probably out of his mind rihgt now haha

 **Jonas:** Stay safe guys and enjoy your night! 

**Toni:** You think you could bust out a Barca roast this time Jonas

 **Toni:** You've solely done them against Real I'd like you to indulge me for once

 **Jonas:** The Real ones just come to me more easily

 **Toni:** Come on man

 **Toni:** Even after tonight

 **Toni:** At least we had a reasonably respectable L to another UCL favourite

 **Toni:** This is just something else

 **Jonas:** Hmmm

 **Jonas:** I think the scoreline speaks for itself when it comes for roasts honestly

 **Toni:** Fair enough lmao

 **Joshua:** DAS RIGHT KING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Leon:** A PERFECT TAKE FROM JONAS HECTOR AS PER USUAL

 **Jerome:** AAARGHIEHGIERGHGIHRHRGI aaieheHAHAHAHAH

 **Jerome:** IT'S A GOOD NIGHT TONIGHTTTTT

 **Fips:** I would dread to have to oversee your celebrations.

 **Leon:** YOU KNOW YOU'D BE IN THE THICK OF IT FIPS

 **Lukas:** hula hooping and all

 **Basti:** are you fucking insane fips i'd love to be there right now

 **Basti:** watching games like this after retiring just hits different i wish i could feel like you guys do again

 **Mario Gom:** God that's such a fucking mood I'm missing it already

 **Mario Got:** mmmmMMMMM i felt that, not retired but bayern will you perhaps take me again? I Would Like To Play.

 **Benni:** Hey

 **Benni:** At least we had 7-1 lads

 **Benni:** Same energy

 **Mario Gom:** Tfw you didn't have 7-1 (:

 **Mario Got:** i was on the bench lmao but i had 1-0 so im still happy 

**Basti:** oh yeah 7-1 was better ngl that was peak surrealism and poetic irony

 **Basti:** this was just embarrassing

 **Thomas:** A COMMON FACTOR IN BOTH GAMES- HANSI FLICK AND MIROSLAV KLOSE

 **Miro:** Thst is kinsd but.

 **Miro:** **I know yo** **u** are ne ver going to lsiten to us agoin. When me aond Hansi coach you just will say

 **Miro:** "We won 8-2."

 **Miro:** "W e o dont need advice."

 **Thomas:** MIRO TYPING "WE WON 8-2" PERFECTLY!!!!!! THE POWER

 **Mario Gom:** The joy opened his third eye and let him use his phone properly

 **Lukas:** i like how he proved miro's point exactly there.

 **Lukas:** never change mülli

 **Per:** peak thomas

 **Per:** but he's man of the match so he deserves it, what a game from you today thom

 **Lukas:** for sure 

**Basti:** how jogi can be sleeping at night with his idiotic decisions i don't fucking know

 **Thomas:** :))))))))))) LOVE YOU BASTI AND POLDI AND PER MISS YOU GUYS SO MUCH

 **Leroy:** if only i could be playing i'm going to cry

 **Leroy:** i wanted to be in this team last year!!!

 **Thomas:** DON'T WORRY LEROY WHEN YOU'RE PART OF OUR ATTACK WE'RE GOING TO BE DANCING

 **Serge:** WHNE WE LNSIAK UP MOYS ON

 **Serge:** THE TSE ITBCHES WONT KNmnOW SHW TO ACT

 **Leroy:**... WHAT

 **Leon:** 'when we link up my son'

 **Leon:** 'these bitches won't know how to act'

 **Leroy:** i don't even want to see the state of serge's typing if we win this but

 **Leroy:** THANKS BRO WE GOT THIS

 **Mats:** well done guys 

**Mats:** i know it looks like I'm saying this through tears but im genuinely glad for you

 **Benni:** He's in tears

 **Mats:** ok yeah i am

 **Mats:** but congratulations.

 **Thomas:** OOF 

**Marco:** shut the hell up matsy we've got this you don't need them

 **Mats:** yeah........

 **Basti:** 😬😬😬

 **Basti:** thats a yikes if I've ever seen one

 **Basti:** ok on an actually serious note btw

 **Basti:** DON'T get cocky boys

 **Basti:** there's still another two games left okay, keep your heads up and calm

 **Basti:** you can't bottle this one, don't make this another 2012

 **Fips:** Absolutely.

 **Fips:** There must be no arrogance and no complacency. 

**Fips:** The football world is depending on you to protect the integrity of our sport.

 **Marco:** yeah cant believe im saying this but if it's you guys or fucking rasenballsport/psg/man city

 **Marco:** easy pick on who i want to win 

**Julian B:** fair point

 **Benni:** I wish only the worst for you Draxler

 **Julian D:** Wow thanks Benni!

 **Marco:** so dont fuck this up bayern

 **Leon:** DAMN MAN CAN'T WE BE HAPPY FOR OURSELVES FOR ONE SECOND WHY YOU LOADING ON THE PRESSURE

 **Leon:** CAN'T WE JUST GO CRAZY AND STUPID 

**Mesut:** as if you've not done that already

 **Fips:** Believe me, anything can happen. It's not over yet.

 **Fips:** It only gets worse from here.

 **Fips:** As former captain of this godforsaken team I feel the urge to remind you this.

 **Joshua:** OK BUT

 **Joshua:** FOR TONIGHT WE'RE SCREAMING OKAY

 **Jerome:** AT THE TOP OF OUR LUNGS

 **Fips:** Fair enough. But keep what me and Basti are saying in mind.

 **Leon:** HANSI HAS ALREADY DRILLED IT IN US ALREADY

 **Fips:** Fine. Looking forward to the rest of the games.

 **Fips:** Also you were very good today Leon. 

**Leon:** LOVE U FIPSSSSS 

**Kai:** trying to instil humility in him and then praising him??? bold move fips

 **Niklas:** IT'S WHAT HE DESERVES

**Leon:**

**Niklas:** LADS

 **Jerome:** IT'S

 **Leroy:** BAYERN

 **Joshua:** AND

 **Leon:** WE

 **Serge:** WLIL

 **Miro:** BE

 **Thomas:** HUMBLE

 **Manu:** TOMORROW

**Author's Note:**

> IM ACTUALLY SCARED TO POST THIS IN CASE IT AGES BADLY LMAOOOOO U CAN COME BACK AND CLOWN ME IF IT DOES BUT AT LEAST THIS GAME STILL HAPPENED


End file.
